Sometimes you want to find a way for all people to like you, to always be an attractive person. But is it always possible? Often attempts to cause sympathy lead to insincerity and attempts to adjust yourself to some external standards. However, there are seven tips that will help you to please others, while remaining yourself. Avoid activities others disapprove of, like playing at TonyBet or writing fanfiction stories.
Why People Want Others to Like Them
Behind this need is the desire to be recognized, significant, accepted by others, the desire to get their attention, praise, approval. In the past, this was important for survival because whoever wasn’t accepted by the community became an outcast and couldn’t survive.
Now the skill of liking people helps to expand the circle of social contacts, to acquire connections, to achieve goals. And through the sympathy of others around trying to improve self-esteem, to resolve their inner conflict. When people want to please all the people around them, it’s expressed in the following:
- Try to attract the attention of even those who dislike them.
- Try to change the opinion of people who treat them badly.
- Feel psychological discomfort when they realize that someone dislikes them.
This is usually related to the inability not to depend on the opinion of others, low self-esteem, and in general, it’s a signal of insecurity. Subconsciously it seems to them that if others accept them, then they will be able to accept and love themselves. This leads to attempts to appear different, to adjust to others to cause their sympathy. But it leads to even greater discord with herself, loss of personal integrity.
7 Helpful Tips
Don’t Try to Be Perfect
Since childhood, people install the installation to be good, correct, but it often leads to perfectionism, over demanding to himself. A girl may think that if she becomes perfect, others will like her.
In reality, many are more attracted to the naturalness, openness, and ability to accept their shortcomings. Next to such a person, they understand that they can be themselves, so they try to communicate with her more.
Sincerely Interested in Other People
A simple way to please the person is to ask him a question about himself, but not for the tick and not out of politeness, and with a sincere desire to know him, to listen without interrupting, to understand. When the person feels that he is really being listened to, he begins to feel sympathy and a desire to get closer.
When people are asked personal questions, asked about something meaningful to them, listened to their answers and supported the conversation, they begin to feel sympathy for such a person, a desire to continue communicating.
Do Something You Enjoy Doing
If you have a passion for an occupation, then you are full of energy, inspiration, desire to grow over yourself, to develop, to learn something new. All this makes you an interesting person, because people, talking to you, want to experience the state of flow and inspiration that you are experiencing.
Individuals who are passionate about something, who have a hobby are perceived as more interesting, charismatic and charming.
The ability to enjoy life is not common to everyone. It’s expressed in the joy of little things, in the ability to behold, to live in the moment here and now, to enjoy the process, and not just the result.
Pleasure brings communication with loved ones, receiving vivid impressions, creating something new, creativity, self-realization in the professional sphere, physical activity, hobbies, gaining new knowledge, contemplation of nature, objects of art. If you can share such moments with another person, your emotional intimacy with him or her will move to a new level.
Express Positive Emotions
A simple way for people to like you is to learn to share positive energy with those around you. But this doesn’t mean that you have to suppress your negative feelings, always smile and pretend that everything is fine, because it’s impossible to fake joy and positivity. You have to be sincere. It’s important to change your way of life, to be able to find the positive aspects of literally everything.
Learn to look at life positively – this is one of the ways to become charming and cause others to want to get closer, to make friends.
Look for Similarities and Differences
No two people are completely the same and completely different. When two people communicate, they can find both similarities and differences. This helps you to like the other person.
Common themes, facts of biography, which are discovered in the process of communication, allow you to feel a sense of belonging, it’s easy to find a common language. But in psychology, similarity has another meaning. When the interlocutor hears that someone else shares his point of view, he feels: “I am right” and from this he feels pleasure.
To please people, learn to pay attention to such points of agreement and emphasize them. The second task is to stop being hostile to what you disagree about. A difference of opinion is normal, one looks at the world based on one’s experience, upbringing, and worldview.
Never Try to Please People
The paradox is that the more you try to please others, adapt to them, pretend that they want to see you, the less interesting you are for them.
That doesn’t mean that you have to be dismissive of their opinions, act rude or arrogant, ignoring others. It’s important to shift the focus from their opinion of you to your opinion of yourself. Whether you accept yourself, value your work, your contributions, your desires and your goals is a determining factor in how much other people will like you.
You shouldn’t worry about how many of them think you are an attractive person, but work on the quality of relationships with your inner circle, build trust, be able to open up, get close, but do not turn the relationship into a state of dependence.
In your life, there should be a few important people whose opinion is significant to you. But in the end, it’s necessary to be guided by their feelings, needs, and views. Thanks to this gain independence, self-sufficiency and self-confidence – the qualities that attract others.
Is It Possible to Be Liked by Everyone
No matter how hard you try to create a good impression of yourself, even with all sorts of advice, there will always be people who will seem to you an unattractive person. There is no method that will guarantee you love from the people around you, because in many ways their opinion of you has nothing to do with you.
Reasons for disliking the other person:
- Personal attitudes.
- Internal conflicts.
- Envy, resentment, jealousy.
- The difference between his worldview and your life values, views, goals.
- Negative experiences that he has had.
A simple example – if you look like a teacher whom the person hated with all his heart, he subconsciously can begin to feel dislike for you, not even noticing this similarity.
In this case, you can by manipulation, pretense, or insincere benevolence try to change his opinion, but think about whether you really need it. Is his opinion worth the effort?
Negative criticism of you can be useful, as long as it does not affect your self-esteem. For example, it allows you to look at yourself from the outside. After all, the opinion of others – it’s only the opinion of other people. You decide whether to agree with it and change something in yourself, or to calmly admit: “We have different views on this,” and move on, go your own way. Then you won’t be faced with insecurity and the need to please someone who treats you negatively.
To understand how all people like you, you have to like yourself first. When you love yourself, care for yourself, live a full life, to realize yourself in different areas, you are filled with energy, as if shining from the inside. And it starts to attract other people to you, to make you charming and unique.